Days

What a long, strange, hazy year this has been. A part of me cannot believe it is October already, and another part of me wishes it was October 2 months ago.

I have been possessed by an alien life form living in my body for the past 39 1/2 weeks. This year of existence seems to not have belonged to me, but more for this new being. From being sick for so long, to being restricted on physical activity due to an inability to maintain heat very well, I've been in a lull. It has been odd. And every moment my mind is full of thoughts of this new life, and how mine has completely changed.

I am very excited and glad for this change. I know it is going to be just awesome. I am not giving up who I am, but more expanding upon it. I am learning a whole new way of living life. I have yet another meaning for it. There is even more love coming into my life.

Naturally I've been thinking a lot about life, what its meaning is, its cycles. I am becoming even more spiritual. I have even been attending church services, something I thought I would never do; never thought I would be comfortable with it. I have found a wonderful group among the Unitarian Universalists. It fits perfectly along with my spiritual beliefs. It is an organization open to all paths. So be it that you worship God, or Goddess, or anything else, it all applies there. The congregation I attend is mainly Pagan and Buddhist. It is small, yet very friendly. I am happy to have found this.

I am eagerly anticipating the serene moment of the beginning of a life. It is a rare, powerful moment, much in the same as the end of a life. It is all a cycle, and I am so honored to be a part of this. I wonder often of what life lessons she will go through, where she has come from, and where she will go. I have started on even more improvements with my life in the quest to give her the best possible foundation. This includes the mundane, such as having an organized home, to bigger changes, such as looking into school for my career (which I have finally decided on!). Although my mind and body are in a haze, my focus is very strong.

So, here we are, just days away from a momentous change. No more counting trimesters, months, or even weeks. We are down to days. Maybe hours. It will happen.